they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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