what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
COCAINE IS GR8
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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