he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
