My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
