either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
