Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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