dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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