he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
