I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
false alarm, still single
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
