If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
