You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
