Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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