I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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