And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
