ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
