Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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