M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
