So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
