there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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