we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
