I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
