That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
