Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I didn't shave. On purpose
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
