i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
