Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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