The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
