we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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