I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
