did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
