Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
