Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
