My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
