i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
