I think my vagina is haunted
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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