You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
