I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
