Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are leaves in my underwear?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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