it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
