just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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