TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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