Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
