and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
