Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
