WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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