true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
