Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
