why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
