we're blogging at a bar
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
