i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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