at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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